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How It Went Down

Updated: Jun 5, 2019

So let me start off by saying this: this blog will begin as a documentation of how I saw the events go down, and how I feel about them. Thus, it will be in my POV. I do hope in the near future to get my relatives to create their own posts to share perspective and their own guidance. But for now, I'm the captain of this weird ship.

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We had had a rough few years. I was coming up through adolescence, and really didn't have a lot of friends besides my best friend at the time (if you’re reading this, thank you for your years of friendship). So like most middle schoolers, I was an angsty, acne infested mess. What was a bit different was that I (finally) got diagnosed with Depression and Anxiety in the 7th grade. So I already had issues of my own to handle.


My mother and I had had some issues, so I began by seeing a therapist. This was a year before her diagnosis. Before the diagnosis, my honest thought was that she did not love or care for me. That is how I felt, sadly. But I have learned over the years that that was FAR from it.

The day that I found out was (I believe) a few days before 8th grade began in September. I was looking for a scrunchie in her vanity drawers, but came upon a pill bottle. My first thought was that she was on drugs, and that was why she was acting this way all of this time. Afterall, her personality had changed so much over the past few years. I decided to call my father, who is a pharmacist by profession, and ask him what was this medication. I read out the name: Aricept. He took a brief pause, and gave me the news. That this medication was typically prescribed to Alzheimer’s patients. It took a moment to settle in, but I remember myself having to hang up after he gave a few comforting words before I called my best friend.


It was so confusing to me. I didn’t really know what this disease meant. I only knew that older people got it and they were usually in nursing homes by then. I didn’t know what was going on, if she was seeing a doctor, and who even knew. Now that I’m older, I know that her sisters were doing everything in their power to help her transition into this new lifestyle. I can’t even begin to imagine how scary it was for her, I know how confusing and frustrating it was for me.


This day changed my life completely. I can see both good and bad aspects of it. Of course, the bad came like a tidal wave before the good has finally come along. My life has been through so many ups and downs, going from side to side. Almost like I’m on an expedition on a rickety sailboat, trying to steer the giant wheel as best as I can. Sometimes life is like a calm current, guiding the voyage gracefully. Other times I feel like I may crash upon a mass of rocks, smashing the boat to nothing. Thank god the boat has been able to be steered away from crashing just in time.


Until next time.

Mads

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